One of the best feelings of parents is seeing their children succeed in different fields such as academics, sports, arts, and leadership. However, experiencing failure or committing mistakes is inevitable. As parents, it is important to let your children experience failure, together with the pain and frustration. Before teaching them to accept their situation, you must accept your children by being uncritical. Do not use their mistakes to label them as failures. If they feel accepted, they would fearlessly admit their mistakes or shortcomings.
After your children’s admission, the words “it’s okay” or “no one wants that to happen” are music to your children’s ears. You have to remind them that experiencing failure is different from being a failure. Experiencing failure is uncontrollable, while being a failure is a state of mind that stops your children from trying again. You must assure them that their feelings of disappointment are valid and your support as parents remains despite their failures and mistakes.
Afterwards, you have to constantly correct their mistakes and teach them to do the right things. However, it is not about imposing your own rules and expecting them to follow everything you say. One of the most effective ways to teach them is by letting them think of ways to do things correctly. This method makes them accountable for their actions. With a sense of responsibility to keep their word, they are compelled to follow and do what they think is right.
As parents, you should help them cope, move on, and learn from their failures. First, you need to remind them from time to time that achievements and failures do not define them as persons. Their failures, regardless of the number, must not stop them from trying again. Remember, real failure comes when they stop trying.
Second, you need to teach them composure. When they face inevitable failures, they need to stop blaming themselves or others. Instead of playing the blame game, they must learn to think of solutions carefully. You can teach them self-talk, where they tell themselves to calm down, think clearly, and do what is necessary.
Third, you need to explain and demonstrate that failures are stepping stones for improvement. If your children do not experience failures at an early age, they will think that life is always smooth-sailing. Failures expose their weak spots. If they fail now, they would not repeat the same mistakes in the future. This makes them more mature, resilient, and responsible individuals. It is better to prepare them now while they are still young, rather than let them grow up as helpless adults.
As parents, you should assure them with your undying presence and guidance, especially when they are experiencing failure. Words like “I would always be here to guide you” will boost your children’s morale to keep trying and improving themselves. You are always accountable for their actions, even if they are already adults. Remember, parenting is a lifetime process.